Something happened up there on the mountain. I'm pretty sure that's when it happened. I looked down over the valley and realized that the goal that was riding top rung for the last 10 years of my life could finally be scratched off. Which then begged the question: what now? Quo Vadis? That's when I realized that I could start filling my life with all the things I had always wanted to do, but before couldn't somehow gather the mental energy for. My new motto: do what makes the better story.
It helped that I had 18 other friends to share the experience with. I tried to recreate the feeling of the experience again this weekend. I wore all the same clothes, took a much smaller pack perfect for day trips, put on the same game face, and readied the engines. But of course it was different. The mountain was different, much smaller, with no pines or rhododendrons. The people were all strangers, at different places in life, with different goals for the climb. The climb was still challenging, much farther than I had ever gone in one day, and it was lovely to get outside, learn some new bird calls and plant IDs. But there's definitely nothing like spending three rustic days with close friends, people who were all experiencing the same things at the same time. It was bonding like no other.
That hike was almost three months ago, and I'm still in post-party let-down phase from it. Luckily, there are still a number of us in this new city, all sharing different sides of the same adventure. Perhaps each year we will come back together for a recap, to compare notes and recenter. I never valued friendship so much when I was growing up, content to mostly do my own thing and tag along with others when I could. But something on that mountain made me yearn for the constant company of others. Not just strangers on a path along a wooded ridge line, but people who feel like a part of you, whose presence fills your world and whose absence pains you dearly. It's not enough to simply be content with your own life, if you have no one else to share it with.
