Thursday, August 17, 2006

Hhhhhuuuuuuuummmmer

McDonald's is pairing up with Hummer to offer kids a special toy rootin'-tootin'pollutin' machine with their Happy Meals. Well, only if they're boys--girls get Polly Pocket fashion dolls instead. Let's count how many things are wrong with this:
1. Feeding McDonalds to kids. Keep doing that, and someday the only cars big enough to fit their fat behinds will be Hummers.
2. Advertising products to children that they won't even be able to use for a good 10 years. That's like Joe Camel advertising to kids. I guess at least a Hummer won't outright kill them, just slowly pollute their world and drain their wallets. Oh, Hummers really are like cigarettes.
3. Reinforcing gender roles by giving cars only to the boys. Picture a little girl accidentally getting a happy meal made for a boy. "Do you want a Hummer?" she asks a boy in her class, offering him the toy from her meal. And we thought that stuff only happened in the White House.
4. Hummers and fast food are the kinds of things that are essentially totally wrong with this world in general. Nuff said.

Speaking of Hummer, those tv commercials are really lame. One appeals to the soccer mom in all of us when someone else's kid cuts in front of ours in line at the playground, so we must buy a Hummer to feel superior. Yes! Get our girl on! the ad states. Another ad appeals to the neanderthal in all of us when some guy with meat and beer gets in the checkout line behind a guy with vegetables and tofu, so we must buy a Hummer to even the score or something. For the record, I would guess that any guy who eats tofu and vegetables (which does NOT make him less of a man, by the way) certainly would not stoop to buying a Hummer to boost his ego. Maybe Hummer has issues because real men don't need a big gas guzzler to feel better about themselves. That's what trophy wives and fancy technology are for.